A check on ministerial pride

In an end-of-the-year newsletter that I recently received from a friend and former seminary classmate, I read these words:

We would have never imagined how physically and emotionally draining church planting could be.

The man who wrote these words is a good man, a great pastor, and a hard-working church planter. I'm grateful for his ministry and for the particular labor that God has called him to do, and I am thrilled that his church plant is thriving as it is. In saying what I'm about to say, I'm not trying to take anything away from his ministry.

But I think his ministerial pride is showing its face in this sentence. Yes, church planting is hard, and it is, indeed, physically and emotionally draining. But not anymore than any other ministry-- because the simple fact is, any pastor who is adequately doing his job and fulfilling his calling will inevitably find that it is physically and emotionally draining, to a degree beyond what he once imagined it might be.

I say this, because I know that no church planter ever had a week (plus a day or so) like I just had in a "revitalization" ministry: a week ago this past Wednesday, I got word that a lifelong-member in our congregation, age 74, had died of a stroke. I personally took this news to her best friend of more than 50 years, who has also been in the church that long, and to another long-time friend. I broke the news to much of my congregation that night, many of whom had known this lady all their lives, had been taught Sunday School and Bible School from her as children. I conducted her funeral on Monday, and then went to the hospital to visit with a second-generation member of our congregation and her family, as she gave birth to her first child. All of this, in addition to regular Wednesday and Sunday activities, plus a Christmas Eve service.

While the death of a long-time Christian isn't outside of the realm of possibility for a church plant by any means, most of the rest of those circumstances (even the regular activities and services) are. And the longevity of it makes the emotionally-draining quality that much deeper.

My point isn't to say, "you think church planting is hard-- you should try revitalization!" Rather, it is to say this: church planting is hard; so is revitalization. So is ministry in an established, healthy congregation. So is campus ministry. So is international missions.

Which is to say, ministry, if you're doing it right, is hard.

And we need to get over ourselves enough to acknowledge this better. The way my friend presented the difficulties of his year made me feel like he had to make the point that, for some reason, he felt his year was harder than mine because he is a church planter.

Maybe it is because church planting normally embodies leading people in new and fresh directions. Maybe it is because church planters are treated like the "rock stars" of the pastor world. Maybe it is because, for a decade or more, church planting has had a strangely special status in my denomination (the PCA). Or maybe it is for reasons I can't enumerate. But for whatever reason, church planters often seem to have this chip on their shoulder that proclaims, "what I'm doing is more important than what you're doing."

Let me just knock that chip off by saying, in response: no it isn't-- and that sort of competitive spirit that you are always identifying your ministry (and, by default, mine too) by is antithetical to the Gospel. It is antithetical to Kingdom growth. Please stop it.

Ligitimacy in ministry

HT: Matt

"Black Friday" Sale

For my tens of readers: Doulos Resources is having a "Black Friday" sale for Friday, November 27 and Saturday, November 28.

All resources are 30% off, no limits! To take advantage of the sale, visit the Doulos Resources E-Store and use this discount code: CTZNJ6EG.

Thoughts on keeping your eyes open

A friend recently shared this reflection with me, and I thought it offered great insight into this sort of situation-- when you're not sure if you should be looking for an opportunity for transition or not. I posted a version of what he wrote, but he wanted to re-work it a bit after I posted! Here's his updated story:

Ed, I hope the following reflections on my transition are helpful for some of your readers.

First, a bit of background... My wife and I took our first job out of seminary in a very expensive metro area. It was great experience, but the cost of living was very high. My dream of providing for my family faded as my wife had to begin working full time and as we were dependent on her for providing health insurance. I began to compartmentalize—I served the church with as much emotional energy as I could afford, but also began looking for a way out (that is, a different job).

The Lord apparently had lessons for us to learn because another job didn’t open up for quite a while. We were left feeling the crunch for a couple years. However, another opportunity eventually arose; and when it did, God’s guidance was clear and unmistakable.

This is not an unfamiliar story, I know. What I’d like to share below are some of the lessons I learned, or at least hope that I’ve learned. After years of feeling like victims of an unfair salary and (what felt like) uncaring leadership, we realize that most of the problems concerned our attitude.

Here are some reflections:

God's timing. What struck me most of all, in retrospect, was that when it's God's time...things happen. Nothing opened up for us as we were trying to “settle down,” but when it was time to move on (and there were more objective indicators by that point) it was as if the red carpet was rolled out. While I don't understand God's timing, it seems He was pretty rigid concerning His plan for us: he simply would not yield to our desire to escape our uncomfortable situation. I see this now as a token of his love, like a father who refuses to give their child something that is not in their ultimate best interests. I do not regret searching for other ministry positions, out of a desire to be proactive concerning my wife's/family's (real or perceived) needs--but I wish I would have done so with less anxiety and more trust in God's ultimate best for us.

God's release. One time, a fellow pastor spoke to me about sensing God's "release" from a ministry position. He told me not to look for another position until you know in your heart God has released you from your present one—until you know your work there is complete. For me, this sense of release came eventually…but not until after I’d spun my wheels trying to get hired at numerous churches (where I always ended up being their “second choice”). Had I waited for this sense of release before sending out my resumes, I could have saved myself a lot of time and a lot of postage.

Heart issues, heart issues, heart issues. I am so embarrassed to say that I allowed myself to feel like a victim during my time in this ministry position. Now that the smoke has cleared my wife and I have had discussions about "idols" in our life that were the real problem. We had idols concerning the American dream and others too. I can look back in retrospect and see how we could have served the Lord so much more effectively had we trusted God more (as I've already stated) and been less anxious...less frustrated...less idolatrous. Had we limited the emotional energy spent on fixing our situation, I could see myself taking even greater advantages of the discipling/evangelizing opportunities that were present for me in this metro area. Another way of putting this same point is, “Don’t panic.” Or, if you do feel panicked, explore whether it may be because an idol is being removed from your hands.

Money: Another heart Issue. God provided for us wonderfully once we made our move, but financial issues still plagued us. This is because issues such as being gospel-centered, planning well for the future, etc, are present no matter how much or how little you make. This is not to say that churches shouldn’t pay their pastors better; they should. But we have to be careful about feeling entitled.

As you can see, most of these lessons involve attitude. I can see now, as we face another transition, that having a much more patient, trusting attitude--and trying to discern what God desires for us to learn right here, right now--is a much better way to go. It doesn't mean I'm not praying about, and investigating opportunities for, the future. But I feel more trust than panic.

At the same time, I'd like to note a few things on the "other side"...

Pastoral/session care. I would have benefited from greater pastoral and sessional care, even though the responsibility was ultimately mine. This hit home to me when, near the very end, I asked the senior pastor to speak to the session about a serious concern we had--only to find out down the road that the request had been utterly forgotten. I personally believe that better communication concerning financial struggles would make many pastor’s situations 90% better. Trying to serve while feeling that no one knows or cares—that’s where bitterness and hard feelings develop.

Tourists don't make the best missionaries. While I wish we had been less concerned about our finances and getting “settled down, it was a simple fact that our church was located in an area where the cost of living was far higher than our income. We always felt like tourists because we could not really live like the people we were trying to serve--meaning, we could not own a home or even rent one near the church. I realize now how pastoral ministry is greatly aided by being part of the everyday, "normal" culture. I'm not saying that you cannot do ministry otherwise, but I would think twice before taking a position where you’d be an immediate outsider to the typical rhythms of life.

I don’t know if these lessons will resonate with any of your readers. But if it leads someone to greater self-examination and even a sense of hope, that would be great.

Interim leadership

Ed Stetzer blogged recently about some wisdom he has regarding "interim" pastorates.

Ed has some excellent advice for interims and churches calling them, especially when it comes to what it takes to BE an interim and what is reasonable to expect an interim to accomplish. I highly recommend his post on this.

(Ed also suggests a couple of helpful other resources on interim leadership.)

I, for one, think that interim pastorates are a wonderful gift to the church, and are NEEDED in many situations. In my view, we in the PCA could take a helpful cue from our brothers in the PC-USA and actually require that churches whose outgoing pastor served beyond a certain point (15 years? 20? 30?!?) must call an interim pastor before settling in (or attempting to) with a "permanent" pastor. I've blogged before about the unintentional interim, and I think such a requirement would alleviate many such situations.

If you're interested in learning more about interim pastorates, you might check out the website ChurchWhisperers.org-- it is full of help and guidance for interim pastors.

From the archives: making a healthy transition, #7

First published September 5, 2005

Most of the men I know who have remained in ministry for a number of years have done so through the friendships they made in seminary.

In whatever way that it has materialized, these men (and often their families alongside them) have maintained friendships with a few very close friends from their seminary years. Those friendships have been a central factor in keeping them in ministry, stable, and focused on serving God. I know few men who have been in ministry for more than ten years for whom this is not the case, and everyone I know who has been in ministry more than 20 years has done this.

It doesn't always look the same, but some common factors arise among all of the people I've talked to about this:

• All of them are in contact regularly-- usually by phone at least once a quarter, and visiting face-to-face at least once a year.
• All of the relationships have a component of basic accountability to them-- checking in on the health of marriage and family life, personal spiritual growth, avoiding temptations, etc.
• All serve as a “dumping ground” for ministry problems and frustrations-- allowing an outlet for all of the things that these men want and need to talk about, but feel they can't with anyone in their congregation (or even in their town).
• All eventually become a “true North-pointing compass” for the individuals-- giving them a safe and trustworthy place to explore where the Lord may be leading them in the future.

What usually happens is that good friends in seminary become a committed group after graduation, and they agree to keep up with each other. They may try different models of how to do that, but they eventually settle into a routine that they repeat year after year.

One man I know has a week-long “vacation” with two other families, and they've been doing this for over 25 years. Another man meets twice a year for 48 hours with his two closest friends from seminary, and they call each other periodically. One friend gathers with a dozen others for three days, and they close up on a family farmhouse to play, talk, sing, pray, and laugh together. Another takes turns with a best friend, each visiting the other's house every six months-- whoever is the visitor “dumps” everything while the other listens.

However it turns out, the constant among variables is this: having one or several close friends who can-- over the years, through the moves and transitions, in spite of geographic differences-- be the kind of peer and brother that every Christian needs has become one of the very few keys to long-term, Godly ministry for the men I know.

On the other hand, among any of the men I know who have been in ministry for 20 years or more and don't do this in some form, none of them has the kind of ministry that I want to be a model for my future. I simply don't have a lot of admiration for their ministries. I can't say for certain that this has been the deciding factor, but it certainly seems to have been a contributing one. (And I should mention that I don't really know very many of these-- which is probably also related to the absence of this factor; without this kind of support, you are almost certainly more likely to leave the ministry earlier.)

The lesson here for new graduates and/or new transitioners: get in touch with those few closest friends from seminary and work out how you will keep in touch. Then do it. Don't put this off.

"Advice to pastoral candidates" from David Strain

My friend and fellow TE in Covenant Presbytery, David Strain of Main Street Presbyterian Church, Columbus MS, offered some good advice for pastoral candidates on his blog today:

1. Think long and hard about different social contexts and what language fits them.
2. Read correspondence before sending it off!
3. Practice humility.
4. Be careful on blogs and Facebook.
5. Tailor your application to specific churches.
6. Cultivate relationships for reference while in seminary.
7. Be realistic about opportunities.
8. Call before sending your materials.
9. Read Why Johnny Can't Preach by T. David Gordon.

Excellent advice, David. (Read his whole post here.)

New documents and templates

We just published some new documents at the Doulos Resources "Other Resources" page. We have some forms, checklists, templates, and even a database template. Check them out!

Résumé advice

The folks at the Unclutterer blog (which is generally very good anyway) posted today some great advice about résumés. They debunk some of the myths that are common, especially for folks who are going for round two or three of candidacy.

Don't miss the comments-- lots of great stuff to mine there.

From the archives: making a healthy transition, #6

First published August 20, 2005...

I don't know any seminarians who have lost weight or gotten in better shape during seminary.

Don't get me wrong-- I do know a good handful of guys that find time to exercise. Even I have found streaks of a few weeks where I've been on the treadmill regularly. But my pitfall is, I would guess, the same as many of my fellow seminarians': some point in the semester (exam time, a major paper due, a break to travel home for a few weeks, etc.) interrupts our exercise patterns and the continuity is lost. Regaining it proves very difficult.

Which is why the transition from seminary into a pastoral position-- or from one position to another, as the case may be-- is a great time to re-prioritize exercise for a pastor.

Once again, this can be difficult to rationalize; after all, when is it easy to find an hour (or more) to haul yourself over to the gym, get a full work out, then shower and change in order to get back to work? And doing this three to five times a week? Surely I'm kidding, right?

No... exercise has got to fit in somewhere. If it means you have to rise early to get to it, then rise early. If it means you have to sacrifice your lunch break (though not your lunch) two or three times a week, so be it. If there is truly no time to exercise, then you're too busy. (This goes for seminarians, too-- and consider this my public confession!)

Studies have shown that the lack of regular exercise affects levels of stress, fatigue, energy, attention-- all negatively. This is not to mention the increased strain your heart, lungs, and structural system endure when you gain weight, which is the result that most of us experience when we fail to exercise regularly. One doctor told a friend of mine that every pound of weight gained amounted to five additional pounds of pressure on the joints when walking or running. No wonder my knees hurt.

On the other hand, regular exercise is just short of magic in its effects on your body. As you exercise (over an extended period of time), your muscles grow and require more energy for even mundane tasks like getting out of a chair, walking across the room, or even typing; thus, your body loses weight more efficiently as your muscular system expands. Meanwhile, your metabolism increases due to the efficiency for burning carbs, proteins, and fats, so that you digest food more efficiently (leading to more weight loss). If you maintain a regular diet-- even the same diet you've always had-- your body will eventually balance out at a healthy weight. You rest more efficiently, you have more energy and endurance, and your overall health improves.

Amazingly, other things also seem to be “magically” handled through exercise: cholesterol issues, high triglycerides, and even diabetes and asthma can be managed, if not overcome, through exercise. Even smokers and heavy drinkers who also exercise seem to fair far better than their inactive counterparts. It is almost as if you can do just about anything you want-- eat what you want, drink what you want-- and, as long as you also exercise regularly, you'll be fine. (Almost... but not really.)

So you don't have to join the YMCA, or any other gym for that matter. If you'd rather jog around the neighborhood or swim laps in your next-door neighbor's pool, that's fine. Ride your bike to work on days when you'll be in the office all day anyway. Or get a treadmill and walk or run regardless of the weather. (If you read World magazine regularly, you know that Editor-in-Chief Marvin Olasky reads on his treadmill every day, finishing dozens of books a year.) Joining an athletic club does have this draw: by shelling out money regularly to a gym, not exercising will weigh that much more heavily on your conscience.

President Bush exercises 6 days a week; he says that it never enters his mind that he won't work out. If he can find the time, why can't you? Start tomorrow-- or re-start tomorrow; exercise is similar to your devotional life: re-starting regularly is better than the alternative.

[Note to self: I'm re-starting my treadmill plan tomorrow...]